Pondering!

Here I am sitting in my rocking chair at 10:30 at night with my bath robe over my shoulder, sticky and sweaty from working out, tired as heck, and pondering! Pondering is an interesting word...it's something I've been doing a lot of lately! Life throws a lot of curve balls our way! It's our choice to make the best of it! This is not a new and exciting shed of light on life to all I'm sure...but it's a phrase passed around a lot and put to the test a lot! Sometimes...just sometimes I wish I had complete control of what happens, when it happens, how it happens, and so on. But 99.9% of the time I am glad I am not in complete control. I just know I would not be nearly as happy if I was. I see others happiness and often say...oh I want that, why can't I be that happy, lucky, fortunate, blessed. It's something I really struggle with. I will fully admit! But on nights like this where I am pondering in my rocking chair that I realize how happy, lucky, fortunate, and blessed I really am. It's hard to see in the busy day to day life...but at the end of the day I know I am. I tend to over-analyze EVERYTHING...what girl doesn't...but I swear I have a disorder of over-thinking, over-worrying, over-stressing...I blame my Grandma Stocking...she's the same way, but it's OK I still love her! I get myself so worked up into situations, and I just bottle it up inside until I just can't take it...and it takes a night of pondering to really put everything back into perspective. I am happy, and I am thankful for such a wonderful life...it's hard to realize how wonderful YOUR life really is until you ponder. I don't know if this made any sense at all...I'm sure it didn't to you but I feel better now and that is all! And now I'm going to go take a shower now! Good night!